You Know They Will Laugh At Us Right

Now more than ever, millennials are having the time of their life. With all the new gadgets and gizmos, how could we not? Our grandparents may have been thankful for the invention of piston engines and electricity, after all it powered pretty much everything, and I know they loved the fact they could hang out after sundown, seems exciting, with the light bulbs and everything, but we aren’t as stoked you see, because we have something much better . . . the internet.

It’s the mother of all inventions, over the internet anybody could connect with somebody from all over the globe and talk with them real-time, that’s something. We buy stuff, play games, make money and learn online. It is the best thing that could possibly ever happen to humanity . . . until the eventual rise of AI anyway, and the growth of our kids, the next generation.

Look at it this way, the internet coupled with our chatting dexterity just made the idea of a pen-pal so ridiculous, and laughable, but so is whatever’s coming next going to do away with what our generation holds dear, and make us look laughable in the eyes of our kids. I used to remember the landline phones back then, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking “you really have to be where the phone is to make a call, and there has to be power”, then came the mobile phones, then whatever’s in between till we got to the android smart phone. To us there is nothing like the smart phone, it’s a phone, you make and answer calls with it, it’s a camera, a flashlight, a calculator, an MP3 player, MP4 player, a gameboy, an internet modem and so many other things, heck! You can check your blood pressure with it, but all of this is eventually going to go away and give room for a much more improved tech, in the not-so-far future. And believe it when I tell you the next generation will rub our faces in it, just the way we did to our parents and grandparents, it’s some kind of a law of nature.

If you are wondering what could they possibly laugh at, well, there are so many places to start, but just to make my point; you know you can’t use your smart phone in the sun right? That annoying glare is something we are yet to figure out how to eliminate, and to think we laugh at our grandparents because they couldn’t move about and be ‘mobile’ while making calls. Our kids will have a blast knowing that we have to stoop over just to see the screen of our phones outdoors, and they will definitely remember only the top phones are waterproof, they will have a good laugh knowing a little rain will fry our phones.

But these are all stuff we can relate to, at the time of this writing I am a few months away from the prime of youth, 25 years old. Imagine all the things tech would become by the time they are 25, by that time I am sure magnetic levitation must have been perfected, they will be dashing at mad speeds to school and while they are at it, the regulars on the train would from time to time chatter about how horrendously slow bullet trains are.

When I was a kid I used to have imaginary friends (one was a dinosaur), anyone? Although I know kids today lack imagination but they will still manage to fill that gap, generation z or whatever the heck their name is are going to be BFF’s with artificial intelligence, not necessarily a real robot but some ‘friendly’ bot online. You did watch Blade Runner? And you remember the protagonist’s not-so-real-wife, her source file is sold in the market but everyone can personalise, well that’s about it. It will be on their phones, in their homes, on their VR headsets, on their facebook friends list and so forth.

Your kid and the bot will be sending each other messages, and giggle at some stupid thing they said to each other, probably something about their “dad not having one of you bots on his friend list”, and there is nothing you can do about it, you might even join up with the AI craze just the way our parents slowly sauntered into facebook. They might just need to cough up its name and the smart house will activate the bot so they can talk anytime anywhere even in the bathroom (just like imaginary friends). There is one thing some of us would do however, write really long reports or case studies on the long term effects of using these AI bots on their brains, the report will elaborate quite convincingly about the ill effects of this ‘artificial social media’ on their education, sound familiar?

Anyway they will just have a laugh, our parents read similar reports too when we started snapchat and ’em others, but we did just fine. However it’s up to you to tell them they cannot get married to a program, it’s what parenting is all about right, crushing kid’s dreams?

You know, there was once a time tattoo was abhorred, it still is actually, I can’t get a tattoo myself I am a Muslim. In the coming future getting ink would be nothing compared to what the punk rebellious teenagers of the time would do to their bodies, they will get an electronic makeover, imprinted chips, LED eyelids, robot arms, they will have a corkscrew, fork, Swiss army knife and a bottle opener instead of fingers, they will be freaking cyborgs.

I am just glad I witnessed a lot of action, and tech (ones my parents are still warming up to), but I am totally terrified I will accidentally mention in front of my nephews and their little friends that we actually drove cars, in that driverless age.

Hafiz is a young Muslim blogger and freelance writer, born ’93 in Bauchi. He enjoys creativity and has a knack for innovative stuff. Check out his blog youngemirates.com for more or follow him on Instagram @haf_hero